


She's So Great To Me

by haikyuute



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Vaguely implied kagehina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 16:10:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuute/pseuds/haikyuute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I look so happy on the outside, don’t I Daichi? But in reality I don’t know what I feel anymore, I don’t know what I’m doing..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's So Great To Me

Hinata sat alone at home, the quietness of his room being his only friend. No one wanted to talk to him anyway, he didn’t want to talk to him, and he didn’t want to talk to them either anyway. He was fine with this silence. Sometimes though, he questions why this is. When did this all start? But he can’t quite put a finger on exactly when it started, it just slowly but surely became this way. Maybe it was the lack of things to talk about; maybe it was because they thought he wasn’t good enough for them. But oh well, at least if everyone left him behind and pushed him away, he’d still have _her_. She was absolutely perfect for him, mind-blowingly beautiful, smart, and she loved volleyball almost as much as he did.

She was always there to help him; I mean she did help him see that his “friends” weren’t as great as he originally thought. She made him realise that he only needed one thing is his life to be truly happy. Her. No matter what happens, Hinata knows she’ll always be there for him, to pick him up when he feels down, to care for him when he can’t care for himself, to love him endlessly. She has always been there, unlike his so-called friends. So he sits alone in his room, running a hand through his orange hair and he waits, waiting for her to finish her shift at work so they could talk once more. He devoted every single moment of the day to her, messaging her and talking to her as much as possible, thinking about her every moment he couldn’t.

He always gave his all for her… But for some reason, some ungodly reason, she still doesn’t feel appreciated and he has no idea what he’s doing wrong, she can’t even tell him what he does wrong. When he tries to ask he’s met with a dismissive _‘I don’t know, stop asking Hinata’._ So instead of practising and working on his volleyball techniques, he’s been spending more and more time racking his mind to find new ways to make sure she knows how much he cares about her, and he wants to make sure she knows that he appreciates and loves her. But what else is there to do when you’re already giving everything you can for a person?

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

The sudden pounding on his bedroom door caused Hinata to nearly jump out of his skin. He didn’t want to get up or respond, not knowing who it could be. He wanted – no, he _needed_ to find a way to be better for her. The person knocking continued to do so for a minute or so before giving up on courtesy and just let themselves into his room. Much to his dismay though, the people who walked in were some of the very last people he wanted to see in this moment. They wouldn’t understand, Hinata knew they wouldn’t even try to understand. They don’t know what it’s like to give their all for someone; they don’t know what real love is like Hinata does. They didn’t even care about him anyway, why would they? Suga, Daichi, Kageyama, or as he was helped to realise, _manipulative, cruel, horrible_. He would be so lost without her to guide him; she’s so great to him.

Suga was the first to approach him, with a worried expression and a gentle tone; he was the first to speak to him. “Hinata, what’s been going on? You’ve been missing more practise than you’ve gone to, you don’t talk to any of us anymore, and we’re all worried about you.”

 _Ha. What a liar, trying to make me feel like the bad guy for doing something to benefit myself. Not going to work this time, Suga._ Oh how Hinata wished he could say this, but he couldn’t possibly do that to his senpai, the person who was always the first one to help him after an injury during practise. _None of that matters now though, I know how he really is._

“Are you having issues with your girlfriend? The two of you are almost inseparable, I don’t know if that’s causing you to separate yourself from us-”

“Don’t talk about her like you know her,” Hinata cut off Suga’s sentence with an impossible to miss defensive tone. “We’re fine, I’m fine. She’s great to me and you all need to get off my back! She warned me this would happen; she told me you’d try to manipulate my perception!”

The three boys looked taken aback, confused as to where this was all coming from. Daichi stepped in, trying not to sound too stern as he spoke. “Hinata, tell me about her… You never tell us about what she’s like or what you two do or anything. We’re just trying to help you."

 _Cruel. Daichi was always harsh to me, kicked me out on my first day at the club without even giving me a chance! He’s the least likely to care about me, why do they think they can fool me._ He was almost brave enough to say it this time, almost. But he stopped himself immediately. Daichi was the one who gave him endless encouragement, the one to always tell him how he could improve and perfect his skills. _But he doesn’t know what’s best for me._

“Please Hinata, let us back in,” Daichi pleaded.

“She’s perfect, okay? She helps me see right from wrong and makes me see how wrong I was in my choice of friends; she showed me how I can be happy, finally happy. She loves volleyball like me, and we talk about it constantly.” Hinata couldn’t bring himself to stop speaking, his mouth kept moving, and word after word flowed out. “I don’t come to practise because I need to make her happy, okay? She’s not happy when I’m not around, I’m not showing her enough appreciation, but I’m trying! So what if I miss a practise or two? I’m trying to make her happy!”

“Are _you_ happy, dumbass?” Kageyama shouted abruptly. “You may think you’re happy, but you sure as hell don’t look like it!”

 _Horrible. Kageyama, the one who doesn’t care about me. Kageyama who shouts at me and calls me a dumbass and hurts me all the time. Kageyama who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Kageyama who doesn’t think twice about me or anyone else._ Kageyama, who always tried to do better for Hinata, who, although stubborn at first, tries his hardest to make Hinata shine. Kageyama, the former Lonely King, Kageyama, the one who let Hinata in and who was affected the most by his lack of presence lately. _Kageyama… My best friend…_

Hinata could say nothing; he had nothing to reply with. No defences, no retorts, no comebacks whatsoever. All he could do was cry under the intimidating stare of Kageyama, the protective stare of Daichi, and the gentle stare of Suga. Suga, who always _cared_ for Hinata, the one who shared _wisdom_ and _knowledge_ with him. When had he ever been manipulative? Hinata doesn’t know why he started associating that word with the wonderful person he’d come to befriend through the club. Daichi, the leader who _helped_ Hinata in every way he could. Who, at times, could be stern, but never had he been cruel to the extend he started thinking. Kageyama, the one Hinata could always rely on and who always relied on him. The one person he’d truly become close to on the team and in general. He hated to admit it, but he could easily say he knew more about Kageyama than he knew about his own girlfriend, his own self even.

Hinata no longer sat alone in his room, his quiet, empty room. He sat curled into a ball, crying harder than he ever had before in front of three of his teammates who he once believed were truly monsters. No one knew what to say, so the three stood in silent empathy, waiting for Hinata to calm down. Hinata was grateful they kept their distance, he didn’t want anyone to touch him, but the strangling silence wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for. So he tried to calm himself down, managing to get his cries to a small sob after many difficulties.

“Y-you…” He tried speaking; only managing broken, hiccupped sentences. “You don’t know w-what it’s like… G-giving your all f-for someone… I don’t do anything right…” Hinata tried fighting back the tears but even he couldn’t hold them back. All of the pent up emotions, all of his feelings he tried so hard to keep hidden were finally exposing themselves. “I messed up; I left her alone when she needed me! But I didn’t know… I didn’t know, she never told me she was sad. But I still left her!” He was practically yelling to the three boys who had to refrain from cutting him off to tell him everything was alright. They were afraid that if they did, he wouldn’t speak anymore.

“I’m just trying to fix my mistakes… Why can’t you understand that?” His voice had dropped to nearly a whisper, finishing his outburst with more shaky sobs.

“When did this start?” Daichi was the one to break the momentary silence between them. “When was this mistake you made?”

Hinata counted on his fingers, _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight._ He hung his head down in shame, mumbling out his reply. “Eight months ago,”

“And she still hasn’t forgiven you?” Daichi was trying hard to hold back a rising anger, he was quickly catching on to what was happening to Hinata.

“She has, everything’s okay, she forgives me because she loves me… She puts up with my mistakes because she loves me… She stays because she loves me… I’ve almost ended our relationship multiple times by my actions as she says, but she’s still here because she loves me… That’s all that matters, right?” _Is that really all that matters, a couple of words that sound like they no longer hold any meaning to them?_ Hinata didn’t want to think into that too much; afraid of the answers he might give himself.

“What happened, Hinata? What was the mistake?” Suga was the one to ask this question, who had at some point moved himself to sit beside Hinata.

“The big team sleepover we had…” Hinata answered sadly, he didn’t want to make them feel guilty for his actions. “I didn’t reply fast enough or something like that… I had stories to tell her about how much fun we had, but she had stories about how upset she was that I put someone else above her. She was so lonely, I made her feel lonely… I thought I could spend a night with my friends, but she didn’t like that… I had to be hers and only hers, no one else was allowed to have my attention.”

He cut the story short, not wanting to go into too much detail, sparing them of any unnecessary parts. “I… I’ve been lying to her too… I told her I quit the club, so then I wouldn’t be seeing anyone again… She has no idea about the times I’ve been there.”

“So,” Kageyama started, not even attempting to hide his anger as he spoke. “She’s all pissed off because you decided to spend a night with your team, _eight months ago_ , and she still continues to make you feel shit about it to this day? Come on, you wouldn’t take something like that from your teammates, why would you do take it from her?”

“It’s poop, Kageyama, not shit,” Hinata whispered with a small smile, remembering one of their many infamous arguments. “You’ve got such a potty mouth,” He mustered up the ability to shoot a shaky smile to his friend.

“Kageyama’s right though,” Suga stated. “She shouldn’t be making you feel bad when you’ve done everything you can to make her happy and you’ve tried to fix what happened. But listen Hinata, it isn’t your fault.”

Before Hinata could fight back, Daichi crouched down in front of him and sat a hand on one of Hinata’s knees and began speaking. “If I could just as a question, I want you to answer this truthfully, alright?”

He nodded in response.

“Do you ever get hurt by her? Does she say or do things that upset you? And if she does, what do you do about it?”

Hinata flinched at the questions. Questions that hit a little bit too close to home. It took him a few minutes to actually get the words to leave his mouth.

“She says things that hurt me, that upset me. Daichi she tells me how I always start arguments when I’m just worried but she never tells me what’s wrong. I always drag on arguments because I get so sad that I don’t know what else to do. I have past mistakes being continuously brought up just to hurt me, just to make me feel guilty. But I can’t say any of this to her. Because when I say she’s doing something that hurts me, she degrades herself because she knows I can’t stand it. She knows it will make me apologise, even if I haven’t done anything wrong. I can’t do anything because she doesn’t _let_ me have friends. I look so happy on the outside, don’t I Daichi? But in reality I don’t know what I feel anymore, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I love her, and she helps me… She tells me every day she’s there to help me… She loves me, and she’ll do everything to make sure I don’t lose myself and she always makes sure I don’t get hurt by other people… She’s so good to me, but I’m such a failure to her…”

Daichi’s suspicions had been correct, but oh how he wished he was wrong. “Suga, Kageyama, could you let Hinata and I talk alone for a minute, please.” He gave Suga a knowing look, one that said ‘ _I’ll tell you later_ ’ just before the two left, with much struggling from Kageyama.

It was Daichi’s turn to move onto the bed and place himself next to Hinata, he spoke in such a soft voice, one Hinata wasn’t even sure he was actually capable of. “Hinata, this might be hard to take in, and I really don’t want you to think I’m putting words into your mouth… But from what you’ve told me, it sounds like she’s abusing you emotionally. Hinata, don’t be afraid to talk to us, we’re always here to help you, and we really do want to keep you safe, we care about you.”

Hinata looked at Daichi with even more tears coating his eyes. _This isn’t right; no one was supposed to find out… But… How? How did they know?_ “I’m scared to leave,” Hinata found himself whispering aloud. “I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to hurt her.”

Hinata couldn’t hurt her; she’d always been there for him. She was always there for him when he was stressed about school work and when he had injuries from volleyball practise. _Wait, that was Kageyama._ She always walked home with him because she knew he always had to talk to someone after school to let out any tension from that day. _She never did that either, that was Kageyama._ Hinata racked his mind for things she’d done for him, he tried and tried, until finally coming up with something.

 _She drove me away from my friends and myself_.

“If you could say anything to her right now, anything at all if it didn’t hurt her feelings, what would you say?” Daichi asked, Hinata almost felt as if he was being interrogated, but he appreciated the concern.

He mumbled a reply, barely audible even in the silent room. Daichi asked him to repeat it; Hinata shook his head, holding his hands against his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears from falling. He couldn’t, if he said them out loud then they would become even more real. But maybe, just maybe he could finally let himself be free.

“It’s over,” he said, dryly and emotionless. He craved freedom, he needed that feeling of happiness again. He couldn’t stay where he was, not like this, not when he has so much to look forward to.

Hinata imagined his relationship as the world. The two of them were a small, rural town that no one ever heard of, that never did anything to amount to anything at all. They simply stayed in one spot, never travelled, never talked to any neighbouring towns, nothing. Outside of that town was opportunity. Opportunity to be great, to be known as whomever you want to be known as, to do as you please and be happy. He wanted to get out of that town with her, to take her somewhere new. He wanted to leave that town with her, but she was the one pulling him back. She built barricades around the town, no one was to get in, and no one was to get out. No matter what, he would be stuck there. Hinata wanted to be free, he wanted to be himself. He wanted – no, he needed to get out.

Little did he know that even barricades aren’t permanent, and the door to freedom was in front of him the whole time. He just couldn’t bring himself to unlock that lock.

“Tell her,” Daichi said, his captain voice showing through ever-so-slightly. “Just remember, nothing you do could ever come close to being as bad as what she’s done to you.”

Hinata thanked him profusely again and again, even going so far as to pull the captain into a tight hug, which he hoped wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. Suga and Kageyama were called back into the room to see a crying-but-smiling Hinata, and a worried-but-proud looking Daichi. Hinata thanked the two of them too, pulling them into their own separate hugs, laughing as Kageyama stiffened before cautiously returning the gesture in the most awkward position the two third years had ever seen.

Before they had time to go too far into what went on, the conversation was cut by the sounds of something vibrating.

 _Oh no._ Hinata thought _. She doesn’t call unless…_

He, upon locating his phone, hesitantly answered the call and set it to loudspeaker while the room went quiet.

“ _HINATA YOU LOUSY ASS, WHY HAVEN’T YOU BEEN REPLYING TO MY MESSAGES?”_ A voice screeched through the speaker.

“I-I–”

 _“I DON’T CARE FOR YOUR EXCUSES,”_ She cut him off. _“I BET YOU WERE OFF BEING "MR. POPULAR" WITH ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!”_

One of the guilt trips she’d use to make him feel bad. If he didn’t reply fast enough he must be talking to other people instead of her. Kageyama looked nearly ready to strangle her through the phone, hating the way she spoke to Hinata like he was nothing. Sure, he was guilty of that too at first, but since those past times; he doesn’t let anyone get away with bad-mouthing his best friend.

But before he could say anything to her, Hinata was already talking. “You’re right, that’s exactly what I was doing. Suga, Daichi, Kageyama, say hello to my girlfriend.” He spoke in a bored, expressionless tone, one they would expect to hear from Tsukishima, but never Hinata.

They muttered out awkward, unsure words, which only caused her to scream louder at him, if that were even possible. She yelled about how he was an ungrateful liar, and all words that would usually make Hinata cry, or at least would phase him on a regular day. Suga and Daichi were concerned about how he was taking this internally, while Kageyama bit back a small laugh, knowing exactly what Hinata was doing just by his facials. He was ignoring her entirely, and thinking about one of two things, what he’s going to say next, or what he’d eaten today. The two had gotten so good at reading each other’s facial expressions that they now don’t even need to yell at each other anymore to have an argument; it can all just be silent.

“I guess you’d rather not be with me then, because I don’t want to be with you either, goodbye.” Hinata inwardly congratulated himself for being so confident about it, while in reality he’d stuttered so much it was nearly incomprehensible, but the message still got across, so no one decided to ruin that for him.

Finally, he was free. Hinata would be able to return to his life like normal. He would be able to be himself again. A whole new set of tears sprung up, and for an entirely different reason now too. He was so happy in this moment that he just couldn’t stop himself from crying out. He was glad they came when they did, he was so happy they understood. Hinata knew to trust his own gut before someone else, he wouldn’t let something like this happen again. He wouldn’t let anyone treat him like that again, he deserved to be happy and he’s so glad he has his friends by his side to show him the way. He would be lost without them.

_They’re just so great to me… I don’t know what I’d do without them._

 

 

 


End file.
